Braces

My son is a child actor and takes part in various plays, mostly in his drama group. He was recently preparing to a play with action in the 1920s. Few weeks before the dress rehearsals he comes back quite upset.

[Me]: What’s wrong? Anything happened?

[Son]: Noooothing…They told us that we would have to wear braces. I’m not too keen on them.

[Me-clearly confused]: Why? What’s wrong with braces?

[Son]: I don’t know, I don’t think I would enjoy it…

I collected him after first dress rehearsal. He comes out laughing to tears.

[Me]: Tell me what’s so funny.

[Son]: Braces! You know, I told you that we would have to have braces in this play.

[Me]: Yes…and what about them? What’s so funny about braces?

[Son]: I was sure they would make us wear teeth braces! Not the piece of old fashioned clothing! I made the teachers laugh to tears!

Well, I still don’t know how he thought people wore teeth braces in the 1920’s. I am sure if there were any, they were quite gruesome and not widely available. And how on Earth the staff would force kids to make a performance in them? :)

Swollen gums

I spent the last week on short holidays in Poland. It was unbelievably hot and dry. This clearly impacted my ability to use English properly. 

I was waiting with our son in the car for my partner to pay for the petrol. 

Here is the conversation that took place between us in English:

[Son]: Muuuum, when we were on the plane my gum was swollen…

[Me]: Oh dear, it can happen, you should be more careful. [I could swear he meant “I swallowed a chewing gum on the plane”]

[Son]: Well, it sort of came back later…

[Me – clearly shocked – did he mean “I swallowed the chewing gum and then vomited it”]: What? What do you mean it came back?

[Son, as if nothing happened]: It came back to normal later…

[Me]: You swallowed a chewing gum, vomited it and continued chewing?

[Son laughing]: What are you talking about? My gums in my mouth – you know, the ones with teeth – got swollen, hurt but later it was fine…

Verbs: Swell – swelled – swollen

            Swallow – swallowed – swallowed

Tiredness + poor grammar = linguistic confusion… :)