Something light for today

This made me smile today. It is not a real translation, but an attempt to make the text look like one :)

The languages are: Polish (correct), Czech and German (pretended) 

The list is about the content of home first aid kit. I have included explanation and back translation below.

PL: czopki
EN: suppository
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: anal bombs 

PL: maść na hemoroidy
EN: haemorrhoids ointment
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: anal butter

PL: gaziki opatrunkowe
EN: pads
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: bandage cloths

PL: krople do oczu
EN: eye drops
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: eye dew

PL: tabletki przeciwbólowe
EN: painkiller tablets
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: soothing thingies

PL: krople do nosa
EN: nose drops
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: water pipes

PL: termometr
EN: thermometer
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: heat catcher

PL: środek na przeczyszczenie
EN: laxative
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: poo runner

PL: syrop na kaszel
EN: cough syrup
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: dry tuberculosis

PL: wata
EN: cotton wool
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: white pussy

PL: tabletki na chorobę lokomocyjną
EN: motion sickness pills
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: mobile puker

PL: agrafka
EN: safety pin
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: it's actually the same - safety pin

PL: spirytus salicylowy
EN: salicylic spirit
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: oral plonk (low quality alcohol)

PL: papier toaletowy
EN: toilet paper
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: dual-sided ass beater

PL: prezerwatywy
EN: condoms
Back translation into English from pseudo-Czech: girl stoppers

Products and company names with obscene meaning: Part 1

Everyone has heard about product names that sound at least a little awkward in own language. I have already posted about food blunders, but this time there are few really "bad" examples from my native language.

1. Popular light bulb producer - German company with many years of experience.

Name: OSRAM 
EN: I will shit (future tense)

2. Toy car producer 

Name: SIKU
EN: Wee/pee, also often used by children as "Ja chcę siku! - I want to pee!"

3. PUPA - popular cosmetics 

Name: PUPA

EN: Bum

4. Supermarket' name

Source: http://www.copywriting.pl/fajne-smieszne-nazwy-firm/

Name: Delikatesy u Cyca

EN: Supermarket "Boob/Tit"

4. Meat producer

Source: http://www.copywriting.pl/fajne-smieszne-nazwy-firm/

Name: Kupska

EN: Large shit (plural - one of several possible forms)

5. Czech company - electrical goods

Name: Elektroodbyt
EN: Electrical anus

School Newspaper Part 2

Introduction and part 1 - click here

My favourite bits have been highlighted in blue. The text is heavily redacted - names and places - sorry, but this was necessary. 

Today's winners: female students (samicze studentki), printer (odbijacz) and Fry (Rój Rybek)

Press CTRL and + to enlarge.

Some examples:

EN: female students
PL: samicze studentki
Back translation: it's actually the same, female students, but Polish words denotes female animals

EN: mobile phones
PL: ruchome phones
Back translation: moving phones

EN: printer
PL: odbijacz
Back translation: fender

EN: hacked
PL: pokrojone
Back translation: cut in pieces

EN: Fry (surname)
PL: Rój Rybek
Back translation: the same, Fry, but the context is a large group of fish

Welcome all the brakes!

A good friend of mine is a HGV driver and is used to all sorts of notices, warnings and informations. Here is the latest one – a very polite welcome to all brakes:

 Image source: private

It is very likely that other languages are also "translated" that well. Polish text (at the bottom) says:

Srodek Lokomocji NIE Musi Byc Posuwany Podczas gdy Swiatlo Ruchu jest CZERWONE Tylko Odchodza Kiedy Zielone Swiatlo Pokazuje

Back translation:

The means of transport DOES NOT have to be moved when the traffic light is RED just [they are] leaving when the green light is showing

Due to the word choice and capitalisation Swiatlo Ruchu (no Polish letters) sounds more like a name for a religious group rather than traffic lights (correct: sygnalizacja świetlna).

And now the headings:

Top green: 

EN: Welcome to brakes

PL: Powitanie do hamulców

Back translation: welcome the brakes (as saying "hello, welcome...")

It should, of course, be Zasady korzystania z hamulców

Middle red:

EN: Traffic light policy

PL; Ruch Oswietla Polityka

Back translation: The movement lights up/illuminates the politician (one of the possible solutions – the most hilarious one :)